How we ended up married

My wife and I met online in 2011, back before online dating was cool. After several messages back and forth and in person dates, it became clear that we were going to be together a long time. My wife had been married before, to a man, and I had been in a registered domestic partnership with a woman, and neither one of us were too eager to have a big wedding or anything like that in the future.

In 2012, we did end up doing a domestic partnership because we live in Oregon and wanted the legal protections that came with it, but it never seemed like something big that we should celebrate. Yes, we were happy that we were choosing to be with each other, but somehow it still felt less than.

I used to work for a Fortune 500 company, and I was one of the first employees to register for benefits with a same sex domestic partner. Maybe someday I will go into the months long battle that was, but it wasn't quick and it wasn't easy, and at the end of everything the company's legal team came back and said, "well if it makes you feel better, we weren't the only company doing it wrong." No, it did not make me feel better, but getting it corrected did.

In 2014, the State Marriage Defense Act, made it so that any marriage/ domestic partnership in a state could be recognized at the Federal Level. Because Oregon was one of these states, it only made sense that we would be legally married. My wife and I had never necessarily talked about a wedding because it hadn't been an option and the domestic partnership, while important, didn't feel the same.

She said that if she ever got married again, it would be barefoot on the beach in the Hawaii. So, we found a beach, we found a justice and we made it happen. We don't have a great story about who proposed to who, because it was inevitable. From the moment we started seeing each other, we knew we'd end up together, we didn't even have to ask.

Here we are barefoot on the Big Island way back in 2014.